Monday, March 30, 2015

The Letter

The following letter was distributed Sunday morning at Holy Cross:

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

     Blessings to you as you prepare to celebrate our Lord’s passion and resurrection for us as we enter Holy Week together. May your hearing of the Gospel bring life where death reigns—as our Lord promises it will. Christ is risen!

     There is no easy way to say what I have to say this morning. On Tuesday of this week I will have surgery to remove a section of my colon which is blocked. It is almost certainly cancer.
A recent blood test revealed that I had an iron deficiency. Additional testing clearly indicated I’ve been losing blood through my gut. My doctor ordered a colonoscopy, which took place on Friday. The colonoscopy revealed the blockage in my colon.

     We are thankful for the people at the hospital in Warrensburg where we had the tests and will have the surgery on Tuesday. They were able to move us quickly to get a CT scan which revealed that the mass does not appear to have spread beyond the colon and nearby lymph nodes. We will certainly know more after the surgery.

      Obviously Julia and I request your prayers. Losing part of my body is slightly terrifying. (But, you may insert your semi colon jokes here.) The recovery will also take a while. We don’t know what course of treatment will be suggested after the surgery. Please pray even more for Julia, that God would give her peace and strength to help me. Pray for Hannah who (at age 10 months) will not be able to understand what’s going on.

      Please also pray for our congregation. The two and a half years I’ve been here have been the very best years of my life. You have all been so absolutely wonderful to us. All of you are amazing people who I know will support and love us as we go through this ordeal.

      Right now the worst part of it for me will be being sidelined for Holy Week. To say I’ll miss preaching Jesus’ death and resurrection is an understatement. This is why I am became a pastor! In the past, my own sickness has, on occasion, kept me from making visits. That brief interruption was devastating (especially when people were dying). I don’t entirely know how missing ministry will affect me. For the time being, I am thankful that Pastor Mehl and Pastor Dahlke will be preaching for Holy Week and Easter at Holy Cross.

     As for how I’m feeling, I go back and forth. To be honest, I have no idea how this morning is going to go. I have no idea how many of you will react. I will almost certainly break down in tears at least once and it is okay if you do the same. For today, I pray for the strength to make it through this service so that I can bring you the good news of Jesus’ forgiveness through His life, death and resurrection for you.

      I’ve had an inclination that something like this was coming since I found out my gut was bleeding. Now that we know, the tears have flown quite a bit at our house. I can think of nothing better to say that Martin Luther’s paraphrase of Psalm 130 in LSB 607 (We’ll sing it today):

From depths of woe I cry to Thee, in trial and tribulation;
Bend down Thy gracious ear to me, Lord hear my supplication.
If Thou rememb’rest every sin, Who then could heaven ever win
Or stand before Thy presence?

Thy love and grace alone avail to blot out my transgressions;
The best and holiest of deeds must fail to break sin’s dread oppression.
Before Thee none can boasting stand, but all must fear Thy strict demand
And live alone by mercy.

Therefore my hope is in the Lord and not in mine own merit;
It rests upon His faithful Word to them of contrite spirit
That He is merciful and just; This is my comfort and my trust.
His help I wait with patience.

And though it tarry through the night and till the morning waken,
My heart shall never doubt His might nor count itself forsaken.
O Israel, trust in God your Lord. Born of the Spirit and the Word,
Now wait for His appearing.

Though great our sins yet greater still is God’s abundant favor;
His hand of mercy never will abandon us, nor waver.
Our shepherd good and true is He who will at last His Israel free
From all their sin and sorrow.

       Thank you for your prayers, those you have prayed and those you will pray in the coming days. If you would like to visit, please call first. If you don’t know what to say, don’t worry. I’ll have a list of things you can say or read with us. Just come and cry or laugh. We will need both.

God’s peace be with you,
Pastor Jacob T. Mueller

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